The last 2 weeks

I am still here.  Slowly but surely I am getting started on this new lifestyle and let me tell you it is hard!  I really would like to eat cake all day and drink Pepsi by the gallon. But i am learning so much along the way.  For instance:
1.) Fiber One brownies ROCK!  The best thing about them, you eat one and you may be tricked in to eating another, but you are paying for it the rest of the day and all of the next my friend.. Seriously, they must be packed with fiber.

2.) I am not perfect and this isn't going to be an overnight change.  I will still cave for a 770 calorie sandwich from Arbys with a few of the kids's fries and a Pepsi.  But then I will have to sit down and type it into MFP.  I could lie, and just "forget" to put it in there, but my body DOESN'T forget I ate it, so there is no reason for me to hide it.  It is what it is and all I can do is do my best to make a better choice next time.

3.)  I started to run, and I think I may like it.  Now, I should tell you that, when I say "run" I am using that term VERY loosely.  It all started last Thursday after my pump class.  Scott and the boys were in town still and I was home, I decided I would just walk until I met up with them, little did I know they weren't going to be leaving where they were for another 20 minutes.  But I started walking, and then I told my self I could jog from one telephone to the next.  From then on I walked one telephone poll and then jogged one.  It was ugly, and it hurt.  It also hurt my ears from all my gasping for air and fat flapping and bouncing.  So the next day, well 2 days later-- I couldn't move the next day, I dug out my ipod and went at it again. Cranking up the country music to drown out the flapping fat for a whole mile.  My friend's house down the road is exactly 1/2 a mile, so there and back is a full mile(duh.)  Even more amazing??  I actually might like it.  It only takes me a 1/2 an hour, and there are no kids, and no one calls me mommy.  It feels like a grown up thing to do be doing and I think I like it.

4.)Breakfast is so important.  I skipped all last week and only lost a pound. So this week, I am starting every day off with some breakfast!

5.)  I am down 8lbs since I started.  I am planning on weighing myself on the 10th to do a monthly check in.  I am hoping to be down 10lbs by then!

6.) My other favorite snack food, has been Skinny Cow Moocha ice cream bars.  They satisfy my caramel frappe craving and come in at a nice 100 calories.  I'm telling you they are my favorite 100 calories of my day!

Now I am leaving you with a bible verse that has been my motto throughout this journey:

Hebrews 12:11 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.(NIV)

Thoughts on week 2, and vacation

Week 2 is over and was probably one of the hardest weeks yet.  The week itself wasnt hard until like Thursday when I noticed I was willing to chop off my arm for a chocolate chip cookie or a piece of lemon marange pie.  We left for our little family vacation to Missouri for my cousin's wedding and things kind of went downhill from there.  Eating on the road is tough and I really didnt do enough planning for snacks and such.  We stopped in a little town that only had a Wendy's, a McDonalds, and a Sonic.  I am a little burned out of McD's because its my go-to spot here at home.  (a salad fits well in to my calorie count) We choose Wendy's because thats the boys favorite.  I picked a Single Bacon Deluxe meal with a ceaser side salad(no croutons) instead of fries and an unsweetened tea.  For dinner, we had bbq at the rehersal dinner.  To sum up the day, while I tried to make some good choices to substitute for poor options, I still went over my calorie count.
         Saturday was my free eating day and the wedding day.  My plan for the day didnt go exactly as plan and I spent most of the day running from one place to the next to divert the potential disasters that seem to try to pop up on wedding days.  For breakfast, I had 2 english muffins and some grapefruit. For lunch, it was Chipolte and came in at 900 calories, yuck!  I normally cant eat the whole bowl but because of my crappy breakfast and some added stress, I was STARVING and ate the whole thing.  Dinner at the wedding was Penne Alfredo and Grilled Chicken with a dinner salad.  I ended up eating 2 salads because again I was hungry and by the end of the night I had adopted an "I dont care, its my free eating day" mentality. Which is a problem.  I had a piece of cake at the wedding, and once we got back to the hotel, I binged on 3 Papa Johns breadsticks with garlic butter AND cheese sauce, and some chocolates from the Russel Stover's store my sister brought me as a present.  Eating on the way home from vacation went about the same as on the way down, not so good. I skipped dinner because I felt so guilty about eating so much that weekend.
          The lesson I learned, the point of my one free eating day a week, is not to purge on as much food as I can put in my mouth, but to just

Maybe this is working...

First of all, You can follow me on myfitnesspal.com my name is mrssmead.
Who would have thought-- this crap is working!!!!!!  Today the scale said 276.8.
I wonder how many calories I used doing the happy dance after I got off the scale?

Things I learned after week ONE:

• Margaritas, are 1100 calories.  I know, I had to use a shovel to pick my jaw off the floor too.  I will save them in case of emergencies from now on!
• I think I may be starting to look forward to my exercise classes at night.
• I lost 3 lbs!  Woot!
• I am finding after eating breakfast, I am hungry less throughout the day and less likely to do mindless eating.
• Epsom salt works great on tired and sore bodies, I don't know how but it really helped.
• It is all about the size of the bowl, seriously, 20 chips in a styrofoam bowl looks like a ton of chips, in a cereal bowl- not so much.

about day one on day 2.

Holy mother of Batman.  I can...not...MOVE.  My body is crying, and everything hurts from my workout last night.  I think today I will go on a walk instead of trying to go to step at church tonight.

I went to bed thinking I did pretty well as far as eating goes, I knew I didn't drink enough water, but I am going to start taking a water bottle with me in the car, because I am thirsty in the car, and often fall into going to McDonalds for a $1 large Dr Pepper.

When I woke up this morning, I started to try to get my calories logged in.  I am having trouble finding a calorie counter that I like.  I have tried My Fitness Pal and FatSecret and Lose It.  My trouble is its hard to find a counter that has enough homemade things.  (like that hamburger I ate last night, or the fajitas I had at the non-chain mexican restaurant.)  When I found items like what I ate, I went WAY WAY over my calorie count.  So I am feeling a little bummed but I am going to do my best to do better today- so far so good!

According to My Fitness Pal, (from now on called MFP) I burned 881 calories (I count breastfeeding L&M as 500 calories a day- since they are both nursing part of the time and eating table food the other part.  I counted it as nursing 1 baby full time)  I ate 2268 calories.

thoughts on day 1,

Day one, went alright.  I started out the morning afraid to even go in to the kitchen, I wasn't sure what to eat for breakfast and didn't want to blow through all my calories in one meal.  I settled on a Smart One- Cranberry & Turkey Medallions.  I know the prepackaged stuff is full of preservatives, but I really really don't have time right now to make all my meals fresh.  For lunch, my mom and grandma and the kids & I, went to my favorite Mexican hot spot for fajitas for lunch.  The boys and I got ice cream for a snack and we went home to rest.  I hit our church for a cardio weight lifting class that kicked my keister and then to HyVee to find some healthier options for me to eat.  After my aerobics instructor pointed out to me how much sugar is in milk, I bought a container of Almond Milk to try on my cereal-  I LOVE milk and so I am not one of those people who can just make the switch without being weaned first. For supper, we had some fresh Iowa sweet corn, pasta salad, tomatoes from the garden and hamburgers. Yum!  All and all a pretty good day, I'd say!

Dear Sabrina,

Dear Sabrina,

Happy Birthday my dear! Today is the day you are going to start one of the hardest, and hopefully one of the most rewarding tasks of your adult life. There is no doubt that it will be a long and hard road and there will be days when you will want to quit, but I promise, it will be worth it. Because, YOU are worth it.



Something needs to change, and soon. You are a mom to 4 sweet little boys, who need you to be around for a long long time, after all, you have many Christmas dinners to host, and many many granddaughters to rock to sleep. You know that you struggle to have the energy to keep up already and it isn't going to get any better.



So starting today you are going to work hard and stop making excuses. I am giving you permission to be selfish for the time being and get your ass in gear. Getting healthy and loosing 100lbs before you turn 30 is your new job and you need to be at work every day. Granted, not all work days will be the same. Some will require you to do physical tasks and push your body in ways that will not feel good and may hurt a little, but tough it out and it will be worth it. Other days may just require some self discipline, which I understand more than anyone else is something that you struggle with. But let me remind you why you are on this journey....



For starters, today when you woke up you weighed 280lbs. You and I both know that is way too much and just plain isn't healthy. Also, if you check in your closet, there aren't many clothes that fit you the way you deserve to have them fit.... especially those maternity capris you are wearing as we right this letter.  Newsflash girlfriend, those babies "you just had" are turning one in a month! Not to mention, you just need to feel better and have more energy so you can be the person you want to be, the person who is hiding behind her mom jeans. 

Now, lets talk about the rewards, with every pound you drop, not only will you be feeling better and smaller, but you will be one step closer to your goal of losing 100lbs before you turn 30.  And when you reach that goal, you and your husband, you know- that guy who sleeps next to you?  Will treat yourself to a trip for 2 to VEGAS!  Come-on girl, you know you always wanted to go,  But who wants to be hot and sweaty and FAT in the city that never sleeps.  No way, you will be swim suit ready--or at least a tankini that isn't maternity ready by July 2014.

You can do this my friend.  You have labored without pain medication, you have carried two babies inside you at the same time, You are tough.  So when this gets hard, and it will, dig in deep and remember to Breathe, Relax, Refocus and Recommit. 

I am cheering for you!
Love XoXo,
Your inner goddess

Happy Birthday to me!

Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 28.  It hit me like a ton of bricks that in less than 2 years I will be thirty.  Yikes. Here I sit, 730 days before I turn 30, fat and unhealthy.   I weighed myself today and the number reached out like a punch in the face from the scale. 280.6. Barf.  I need to loose weight and I have run out of excuses not to.  My body is done having children and now I need to use this body to raise them to be healthy adults so that with any hope they do not have to someday start a blog as to why they need to loose 100lbs. 
   So many negative thoughts cloud my mind, I am not sure if I am strong enough, and I already know I struggle with enough self esteem to be accountable to only myself.  Truth of the matter is, I don't value myself enough to stick with it... But I am going to try.  I need to try. L&M are almost 1 year old and i am still wearing my maternity pants for crying out loud! Tomorrow morning, on my 28th birthday, when I wake up, I am going to dust off my own inner goddess and get our buns to work...
Here is my plan of attack:

• Only weigh myself on Fridays.
• give myself one day a week off to eat whatever I want
• count calories and keep a food journal, if I don't want to write it down, I shouldn't eat it.
• Don't drink my calories, water & tea, that's it!
• Speaking of water, 1/2 my body weight in oz every. single. day!  (that's 140oz folks)
• Exercise.  I know I hate it, and I am a whiner, but it is the only thing that is going to work- I spend the majority of my time running kids from one thing to the next and if I don't start making time for me, I never will.  Becoming a healthier version of me needs to become my job.